Over the last 40 years, some of the most resistance to Mr. Sydney Banks' 3 Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought has come--and most vociferously, at times with hostility--from the mental health community itself.
I have experienced this hostility first-hand as a guest teacher in graduate psychology programs--and my father experienced it throughout his career. It is a wonder to me, because, as I look around, even casually, it seems obvious that the field, as a whole, does not have any kind of handle on mental health. Not even a definition for it!
People seem to suffer from more and more mental ailments, rather. The DSM grows and grows. Here in our well-heeled home base of Palo Alto, even people with tremendous resources and access to mental health services have committed suicide on the train tracks, several over the last year. (One woman jumped from a freeway overpass.) People here live with intense amounts of stress and pressure. Suffering "patients," or consumers, worldwide merely cope with and manage their mental illnesses.
I do not mean to disparage the very well-intentioned and innocent mental health professionals who try their best to help people ... Many of whom do help people through their basic caring and instinctive capacities for healing. It is simply a wonder to me, as I've said, that the mental health field, as a whole, would claim to know much, if anything, about mental health.
Mr. Banks did. A ninth-grade educated welder, his life-changing insight and awakening in the 1970's showed the world that mental health is not complicated. It does not come through "analysis," categorization, or re-living the past. It does not come from attaching more firmly to even positive concepts about who we think we are.
Mental health is simply being present, accessing the divine energy, Love, and creativity that is always with us.
Mr. Banks, of course, is not the only mystic or spiritual author who could define mental health. Yet his selfless dedication for more than four decades to working with those in the field--introducing neutral and universal "Principles" that can be understood in any setting--has led to development of practitioners throughout the United States, and globally, who both define mental health, and help people to find it, within. In my mind, Maslow's plea for a new "psychology of Being" has come to fruition.
"When clarity and purity of thought are present, the answer you seek will present itself, for what you seek is with you and has been with you always." --Sydney Banks, "The Missing Link."
Mental health is a quiet mind. Our birthright. Our access to a great, Divine, endless wellspring of insight, of spiritual knowledge, of connection to Life. It has nothing to do with the workings of our personal thought system. I suffered from depression in my 20's and my later research as an investigative journalist into medications and brain chemistry led me to the firm conviction that we had not found the panacea in Prozac. Indeed, my healing came from my own spiritual insights, insights into the role of Thought and feelings, and, finally, letting go of insecure thinking.
As the world seems to come crashing down around us: murders, wars, child abuse, drug abuse, family violence, perversions, ecological degradation, greed and materialism, and just plain old stress and insecurity--how can we say that we, as the human race, know anything about mental health?
It would be refreshing indeed if professionals in this field would summon the simple humility to say: maybe we don't know.
When we open up to the Unknown, the answers come rushing in. Suddenly, there is room.
Let's remember that once, we were convinced that the world was flat.
This is my deep, deep prayer for the world--that we open up to the Unknown, that true mental health, peace of mind, peace of spirit is unleashed within billions ...
What a wonderful world this would be!
With Love,
Your Mystical Mama
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life
Acknowledgment for the splendid Blog Title goes to Richard Carlson & Joe Bailey, who co-wrote a Principles-based book of the same title (and therefore came up with it first.)
Thought for the summer: "If we all slowed down by half, the world would improve by 200 percent ... "
At the very least!
Think of it! Do we want more money and stuff, or do we want peace of mind? Does the money and stuff sometimes substitute for peace of mind (quite inadequately, I would suggest)? To quote someone very wise and profound whose name currently escapes me: "The truly wealthy (hu)man is the one who is happy with what (s)he has."
Please see the following: "Possum Living" and "Why Work?" ... a book and news article that surfaced in my life most recently.
Might global warming be stopped simply by stopping?
Might more innate and universal wisdom surface if we allowed for more space in our minds?
Might we learn the value of every Thing ... & begin to care less about the cost?
I am on this bandwagon!
with Love,
Your Mystical Mama
Thought for the summer: "If we all slowed down by half, the world would improve by 200 percent ... "
At the very least!
Think of it! Do we want more money and stuff, or do we want peace of mind? Does the money and stuff sometimes substitute for peace of mind (quite inadequately, I would suggest)? To quote someone very wise and profound whose name currently escapes me: "The truly wealthy (hu)man is the one who is happy with what (s)he has."
Please see the following: "Possum Living" and "Why Work?" ... a book and news article that surfaced in my life most recently.
Might global warming be stopped simply by stopping?
Might more innate and universal wisdom surface if we allowed for more space in our minds?
Might we learn the value of every Thing ... & begin to care less about the cost?
I am on this bandwagon!
with Love,
Your Mystical Mama
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Some Observations on Grief
Is there a “way” to grieve? Is our grieving influenced by what we think grieving should be? Are “stages” of grief true or even necessary?
I have been noticing the process of grief within myself since my father died, and actually, the sadness and feelings of loss started even before he died.
This process has not been what I expected, although I’m not sure I was actively expecting anything at all. I guess it’s not been what I expected given the way our society generally portrays grief.
A few days ago, a dear friend called to express condolences and we began a conversation about all of this. He suggested to me that my thoughts might be helpful to others who are dealing with grief. At first I thought, “Oh, it’s too early to put anything up about Dad’s death,” (he passed May 3) but then I realized that it didn’t feel wrong to me to do so … It felt wrong because of what “people might think.”
This ignited in me a sort of rebellious reaction to what I now see as societal thoughts and mores around grief. And so, I have decided to go ahead and post (!)
… My hope is that these reflections might help others who have perhaps come to find their grief unbearable and stifling.
Notes on Grief
Especially, somehow, over these last weeks, I have noticed the deep logic of Thought—of those Principles, Mind, Consciousness and Thought at work—as different flavors of “grief” wash over me.
I am discovering that, at least for me, to “grieve” … to experience the death of someone close, is much more varied than what I imagined. I am not experiencing “stages,” I am experiencing various thoughts, and the feelings that accompany them. My Stepmom, and Dad’s new widow, has been calling these “waves” or “surges.”
For example,
The thought: “I am so grateful to have had such a Father” brings with it its own set of feelings that are sometimes tearful, but also rich, and life affirming. I can well up with gratitude, and feel so very, very lucky.
The thought: “I will never do x, y or z with Dad again” brings the flood of “loss,” and even then, interesting to note, these thoughts are not actually related to the present moment, but to an imagined, or projected future, an imagined scene without Dad in it.
The thought: “I wish I had never done that/said that to him,” and the pain of regret slices through me.
The thoughts: “I am so glad I had a chance to do that/say that to him. To help him [in some way] … to be there for his dying,” bring the feelings of satisfaction, and gratitude again.
The thought: “He is gone now!” Bereavement. Something close to anguish.
The thought: “He will always be with me; he is in my soul, now, even in my very cells” and I feel Whole, I feel the sacred connectedness of life, of two souls who did love one another, and the eternal fruit of such love.
I went walking through the park, alone, late in the evening on the day of my father’s death. The clouds were closing up on lighter areas of the sky, in the west, where the sun had gone down. So there were silvers, grays, blacks, a background luminosity to the sky before the darkness of night. And I started to cry, thinking of Dad. I cried for some time, but it was not a crying I needed to stop, or even be comforted about. The crying was rooted in my love for Dad—I was crying over the beauty of the sky, the beauty of Relationship, the sacred passing of a Soul. It was sadness and joy all mixed together.
Later that night, I got a call from a dear, old friend. She was crying a “hard” kind of crying, it seemed. She told me she was angry about cancer. Several friends or people she knew had died from it. I shared with her that although I had been crying a lot that day, there was a safety in my crying, and that safety came from a kind of rootedness in Love. Like, yes, I could cry and mourn and be bereaved, but when I settled into the underlying current of Love there, I was safe within all of these emotions. I could allow them to come … and also, just as importantly, to go.
I must admit, there are times even now, with the death so recent, when I am not thinking of my father or his death at all!
When I go out in public, or get on the phone, people ask me:
“How are you?”
And they tell me,
“I’m so sorry … “
And these are, of course, common and appropriate comments from well wishers.
However, I can certainly say that there are times when I have been completely fine, good, even. Sometimes, I feel a great joy and freedom that seems related to the freedom of spirit I imagine for Dad now. There is also a new freedom in my life that is directly connected to his passing.
And when someone asks me, “How are you? … I am so sorry,” I remember that I am “supposed” to feel a certain way, as a member of this society (“death” is a bad thing) and so I try to look somber and tell the only truth I can in that moment without seeming to be disrespectful, or an unloving daughter: “Oh well, you know, I am up and down.” True enough.
There were so many aspects of my father’s death that were actually positive and uplifting. I shared this with another dear, old friend who called during my father’s dying, and she said, “Well, we can intellectualize it, or spiritualize it, but it is still difficult.”
I know my friend was simply trying to help me access my “real” feelings—to "let them out," as we say. And in many cases, this may be necessary. But truly, in that moment when she asked, the dying did not feel difficult. I want to honor that truth for me. Death and dying do not have to be difficult. They often are, but they don’t have to be.
Essentially, what I have discovered is that there is no one way to grieve. There are no rules. We get many ideas about death and grieving from society “out there.” The truest Truth for me, however, is always what I experience through direct observation: I have a thought, I have a feeling. I have sad moments, I have grateful moments, I have regretful moments, I have feelings of deep love and peace.
At times, I am overcome with an emotion, a feeling of flatness or sadness, without being able to identify any underlying thought. I accept this as just another current of feeling. I know Thought is there, perhaps subconscious, but I do not need to dig it up and find it. Eventually, this too shall pass.
For my Dad’s wife, in particular, I understand that there is “breaking up of a shared energy field” in the home, in the space (I got this phrase from the book, “The Light of Discovery” by Toni Packer, in her chapter on Grieving). That field must feel broken, a part of it gone, in the entire shared life, and that must feel like a giant vacuum at first. There are habits and activities that were always undertaken with “the Other.” There were perhaps future plans and dreams.
Unlike my Father’s death, which was, I suppose, “expected,” others die suddenly, younger, their deaths fly in the face of all reason, logic and expectation. Perhaps there has been a suicide. I can see how this kind of death would bring up all sorts of intense thoughts and reactions.
At the same time, I am sure that gentle, grateful, hopeful, connected thoughts are still available to survivors … in all cases. There is still the capacity to focus on what was learned and gained from the relationship, what still exists for us, how that person does indeed live forever within us. There is still the capacity to reach for and achieve forgiveness for oneself and for the One who has passed. It is never too late for love.
I read a quote in one book from a family member/survivor, who said, “They are in my DNA!”
Beneath all our thoughts of pain, of the future, of regret, guilt or loneliness, lies the deep, quiet, eternal Love for the Other … the true Relationship that cannot be lost. This Love has no capacity to hurt, it can only heal.
Can we give ourselves permission to go deeply into this Love and begin to understand that we have truly lost nothing?
The great beauty of my Father, Roger Clark Mills (now resting in peace), is that he shared with me the most valuable thing on this great planet earth—-peace of mind.
For the first two weeks after his death, I had a hard time “motivating,” getting anything done. I was tired, I was sad, depressed, whatever. Then, I had a moment in my backyard. The sun was out, the grass had just been cut. Bees were buzzing, and I finally took the time to just sit down in a lawn chair.
Looking out on the scene, my mind became still. It was then that I felt him ... Dad. This was the space he so cherished, and a space we often shared. This was his greatest gift to me, to know what is valuable and real in this mixed up world—-peace of mind.
Within peace of mind, we can feel grateful for anything. Within peace of mind, we come into what all Loved Ones truly want for us after their passing. And somehow, within peace of mind, we share in an energy that includes them still.
With Love,
Your Mystical Mama
I have been noticing the process of grief within myself since my father died, and actually, the sadness and feelings of loss started even before he died.
This process has not been what I expected, although I’m not sure I was actively expecting anything at all. I guess it’s not been what I expected given the way our society generally portrays grief.
A few days ago, a dear friend called to express condolences and we began a conversation about all of this. He suggested to me that my thoughts might be helpful to others who are dealing with grief. At first I thought, “Oh, it’s too early to put anything up about Dad’s death,” (he passed May 3) but then I realized that it didn’t feel wrong to me to do so … It felt wrong because of what “people might think.”
This ignited in me a sort of rebellious reaction to what I now see as societal thoughts and mores around grief. And so, I have decided to go ahead and post (!)
… My hope is that these reflections might help others who have perhaps come to find their grief unbearable and stifling.
Notes on Grief
Especially, somehow, over these last weeks, I have noticed the deep logic of Thought—of those Principles, Mind, Consciousness and Thought at work—as different flavors of “grief” wash over me.
I am discovering that, at least for me, to “grieve” … to experience the death of someone close, is much more varied than what I imagined. I am not experiencing “stages,” I am experiencing various thoughts, and the feelings that accompany them. My Stepmom, and Dad’s new widow, has been calling these “waves” or “surges.”
For example,
The thought: “I am so grateful to have had such a Father” brings with it its own set of feelings that are sometimes tearful, but also rich, and life affirming. I can well up with gratitude, and feel so very, very lucky.
The thought: “I will never do x, y or z with Dad again” brings the flood of “loss,” and even then, interesting to note, these thoughts are not actually related to the present moment, but to an imagined, or projected future, an imagined scene without Dad in it.
The thought: “I wish I had never done that/said that to him,” and the pain of regret slices through me.
The thoughts: “I am so glad I had a chance to do that/say that to him. To help him [in some way] … to be there for his dying,” bring the feelings of satisfaction, and gratitude again.
The thought: “He is gone now!” Bereavement. Something close to anguish.
The thought: “He will always be with me; he is in my soul, now, even in my very cells” and I feel Whole, I feel the sacred connectedness of life, of two souls who did love one another, and the eternal fruit of such love.
I went walking through the park, alone, late in the evening on the day of my father’s death. The clouds were closing up on lighter areas of the sky, in the west, where the sun had gone down. So there were silvers, grays, blacks, a background luminosity to the sky before the darkness of night. And I started to cry, thinking of Dad. I cried for some time, but it was not a crying I needed to stop, or even be comforted about. The crying was rooted in my love for Dad—I was crying over the beauty of the sky, the beauty of Relationship, the sacred passing of a Soul. It was sadness and joy all mixed together.
Later that night, I got a call from a dear, old friend. She was crying a “hard” kind of crying, it seemed. She told me she was angry about cancer. Several friends or people she knew had died from it. I shared with her that although I had been crying a lot that day, there was a safety in my crying, and that safety came from a kind of rootedness in Love. Like, yes, I could cry and mourn and be bereaved, but when I settled into the underlying current of Love there, I was safe within all of these emotions. I could allow them to come … and also, just as importantly, to go.
I must admit, there are times even now, with the death so recent, when I am not thinking of my father or his death at all!
When I go out in public, or get on the phone, people ask me:
“How are you?”
And they tell me,
“I’m so sorry … “
And these are, of course, common and appropriate comments from well wishers.
However, I can certainly say that there are times when I have been completely fine, good, even. Sometimes, I feel a great joy and freedom that seems related to the freedom of spirit I imagine for Dad now. There is also a new freedom in my life that is directly connected to his passing.
And when someone asks me, “How are you? … I am so sorry,” I remember that I am “supposed” to feel a certain way, as a member of this society (“death” is a bad thing) and so I try to look somber and tell the only truth I can in that moment without seeming to be disrespectful, or an unloving daughter: “Oh well, you know, I am up and down.” True enough.
There were so many aspects of my father’s death that were actually positive and uplifting. I shared this with another dear, old friend who called during my father’s dying, and she said, “Well, we can intellectualize it, or spiritualize it, but it is still difficult.”
I know my friend was simply trying to help me access my “real” feelings—to "let them out," as we say. And in many cases, this may be necessary. But truly, in that moment when she asked, the dying did not feel difficult. I want to honor that truth for me. Death and dying do not have to be difficult. They often are, but they don’t have to be.
Essentially, what I have discovered is that there is no one way to grieve. There are no rules. We get many ideas about death and grieving from society “out there.” The truest Truth for me, however, is always what I experience through direct observation: I have a thought, I have a feeling. I have sad moments, I have grateful moments, I have regretful moments, I have feelings of deep love and peace.
At times, I am overcome with an emotion, a feeling of flatness or sadness, without being able to identify any underlying thought. I accept this as just another current of feeling. I know Thought is there, perhaps subconscious, but I do not need to dig it up and find it. Eventually, this too shall pass.
For my Dad’s wife, in particular, I understand that there is “breaking up of a shared energy field” in the home, in the space (I got this phrase from the book, “The Light of Discovery” by Toni Packer, in her chapter on Grieving). That field must feel broken, a part of it gone, in the entire shared life, and that must feel like a giant vacuum at first. There are habits and activities that were always undertaken with “the Other.” There were perhaps future plans and dreams.
Unlike my Father’s death, which was, I suppose, “expected,” others die suddenly, younger, their deaths fly in the face of all reason, logic and expectation. Perhaps there has been a suicide. I can see how this kind of death would bring up all sorts of intense thoughts and reactions.
At the same time, I am sure that gentle, grateful, hopeful, connected thoughts are still available to survivors … in all cases. There is still the capacity to focus on what was learned and gained from the relationship, what still exists for us, how that person does indeed live forever within us. There is still the capacity to reach for and achieve forgiveness for oneself and for the One who has passed. It is never too late for love.
I read a quote in one book from a family member/survivor, who said, “They are in my DNA!”
Beneath all our thoughts of pain, of the future, of regret, guilt or loneliness, lies the deep, quiet, eternal Love for the Other … the true Relationship that cannot be lost. This Love has no capacity to hurt, it can only heal.
Can we give ourselves permission to go deeply into this Love and begin to understand that we have truly lost nothing?
The great beauty of my Father, Roger Clark Mills (now resting in peace), is that he shared with me the most valuable thing on this great planet earth—-peace of mind.
For the first two weeks after his death, I had a hard time “motivating,” getting anything done. I was tired, I was sad, depressed, whatever. Then, I had a moment in my backyard. The sun was out, the grass had just been cut. Bees were buzzing, and I finally took the time to just sit down in a lawn chair.
Looking out on the scene, my mind became still. It was then that I felt him ... Dad. This was the space he so cherished, and a space we often shared. This was his greatest gift to me, to know what is valuable and real in this mixed up world—-peace of mind.
Within peace of mind, we can feel grateful for anything. Within peace of mind, we come into what all Loved Ones truly want for us after their passing. And somehow, within peace of mind, we share in an energy that includes them still.
With Love,
Your Mystical Mama
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Comments from the Family
"The only thing that matters is this moment of happiness, right now."
--Barukh Bennaim
--Barukh Bennaim
On the Death Bed II
"Intimacy is just unconditional Love, seeing the innocence in the Other."
--Roger Clark Mills
--Roger Clark Mills
On the Death Bed
It seems to me, now
The ushering Out of a life
Is as Sacred as the ushering In.
The entire, unfathomable Universe
Of a personality
With its splendors, flaws, tics, traits
And Deep Intelligence …
The Great Complexity!
Ignited by the One Consciousness
Was Born and now Subsides
We witness,
in these sad & playful pajama party days
The Reality of Soul
And the Love that unites us, (always united us)
And brings us together now,
Huddled
as around a sputtering candle,
Witnesses to last light
Which fades
on this night
… If only from our view.
The ushering Out of a life
Is as Sacred as the ushering In.
The entire, unfathomable Universe
Of a personality
With its splendors, flaws, tics, traits
And Deep Intelligence …
The Great Complexity!
Ignited by the One Consciousness
Was Born and now Subsides
We witness,
in these sad & playful pajama party days
The Reality of Soul
And the Love that unites us, (always united us)
And brings us together now,
Huddled
as around a sputtering candle,
Witnesses to last light
Which fades
on this night
… If only from our view.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Help Wanted!
I am sure this has been done before. Nonetheless, it was new to my mind …
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Special Personal Assistant (SPA)
Salary: None
Location: Your home, such as it is
(This position requires use of one’s own home, car and personal monies.)
Job Duties: As a special personal assistant (SPA), you will provide client with the following services, including, but in no way limited to:
Personal shopping (including all personal necessities such as, but not limited to: clothing, food, drink, recreational items, etc., plus unnecessary items) Expense account will be drawn from personal monies. Expense account will also cover gifts and other items for client's friends.
Housekeeping Client will be living in your home. For at least the first five years of employment, client will not significantly assist with any housekeeping. This is non-negotiable. Client will likely create disproportionate increased demand for housekeeping of all sorts: laundry, cooking, cleaning, sorting, disinfecting, and etc.
Personal caretaking, including, but not limited to: bathing, grooming, brushing teeth, trimming nails, cleaning ears (inside and behind), toileting (specifically, disposing, wiping, flushing, and proper hygienic follow up), dressing, undressing, lifting, carrying, transporting, etc.
Entertainment: SPA will be responsible for keeping client entertained to his or her personal satisfaction during “Job Hours” (see below.)
Emotional Support: SPA will be responsible for providing both emotional and moral support to client, including but not limited to 1) serving as a proper “role model”* 2) amending and ameliorating any emotional distress experienced by client during “Job Hours” (see below.) SPA will also be responsible for maintaining and organizing client's social life, and for assuring client has one.
Health care: SPA will be responsible for managing all aspects of client’s health care and health care services—including maintaining proper insurance coverage—during “Job Hours” (see below.) If client suffers any permanent injuries during SPA tenure, SPA will be held fully responsible.
Job Hours: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for duration of position (see below.)
Breaks: If SPA would like a break, SPA is solely responsible for arrangements to have job duties covered during the break period by a qualified professional. It is unwise to take frequent and/or extended breaks.
Sleep: Job duties continue during the period of time normally referred to as “sleep.” Expect sleep to be become highly truncated during the period, “Job Hours,” and for up to, but in no way limited to, 18 years.
Additional contractual items:
Seniority: After 13 (on average) years of employment, your client will not reward you with actual pay, increased benefits or any other form of employee recognition. Rather, your employer will potentially grow resentful and possibly hostile toward you while still depending heavily on your professional services, and drawing more heavily on “expense account.” (See above.)
Possible Occupational Hazards: Sleep deprivation, impacted personal relationships, increased stress, possible, numerous and unpredictable physical hazards, significant impacts on personal cash reserves and possible negative impacts on mental health status, especially during first years of position, but possibly also beyond that.
Duration of Position: Until client or personal assistant becomes deceased. Any attempts to leave this position before the 18th year of service will be considered a criminal act at worst, and a total, irreparable mistake at best. After the 18th year, SPA job duties may decline somewhat, however “the position” must continue to be maintained by you. There is no “sabbatical,” paid or unpaid leave, “exit strategy,” “escape clause,” “golden (or any other colored) parachute,” or “retirement” period for this position.
Benefits: There are no significant monetary benefits, and significant negative impacts on expense account/personal monies, for the period “Job Hours” up until roughly the 25th year of the position. After that time, it is highly likely that there will continue to be no monetary benefits, and possibly significant continued and compounded expenses, for the duration of the position. (See “Duration of Position” above.)
Non-monetary Benefits can include the following, and are in no way limited to: increased wisdom, increased intuitive capacity, increased capacity for compassion and love, increased humor, increased sense of being “present.” Great joy. Deepening of one’s overall “human-hood.” Confrontation/illumination of one’s inner weaknesses and demons. Possible accelerated spiritual development. Someone to Love.
Qualifications: Remarkably—and perhaps unfortunately—there are no qualifications for this highly demanding position. Seemingly unqualified applicants often “grow” into the position and eventually excel at job duties. We strongly advise those who do not feel even remotely qualified for this position, not to apply.
Note: the application process if often highly pleasurable.
Note to potential applicants: Contrary to the seemingly insurmountable challenges of the SPA position, there is extremely high demand for this position. Applicants who do not receive the position have been known to fall into emotional despair. Some individuals invest significant monetary and other resources toward landing the position. At the same time, persons who did not even truly mean to apply for the position can land the position, seemingly by accident or mistake.
Once the position is offered, there is no way to decline the position, although one can abandon position duties. Generally speaking, THIS IS CONSIDERED A CRIMINAL ACT AND IS FULLY PUNISHABLE BY LAW. (Please refer to the laws of your own country and/or state.) Important Exception: Legal means do exist for those who feel quite unqualified for the position, or who have landed the position by utter mistake or by force. In these cases, arrangements can be made to transfer client to a qualified applicant.
A note to those who have landed the position: Congratulations, and keep up the good work!
This position is offered by: God, Life, the Universe. God, Life, the Universe is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, race, moral/ethical status, or any other consideration, whatsoever. Significant questions regarding this position may be directed to: Oneself.
*There is no specific handbook or manual provided for this duty.
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Special Personal Assistant (SPA)
Salary: None
Location: Your home, such as it is
(This position requires use of one’s own home, car and personal monies.)
Job Duties: As a special personal assistant (SPA), you will provide client with the following services, including, but in no way limited to:
Personal shopping (including all personal necessities such as, but not limited to: clothing, food, drink, recreational items, etc., plus unnecessary items) Expense account will be drawn from personal monies. Expense account will also cover gifts and other items for client's friends.
Housekeeping Client will be living in your home. For at least the first five years of employment, client will not significantly assist with any housekeeping. This is non-negotiable. Client will likely create disproportionate increased demand for housekeeping of all sorts: laundry, cooking, cleaning, sorting, disinfecting, and etc.
Personal caretaking, including, but not limited to: bathing, grooming, brushing teeth, trimming nails, cleaning ears (inside and behind), toileting (specifically, disposing, wiping, flushing, and proper hygienic follow up), dressing, undressing, lifting, carrying, transporting, etc.
Entertainment: SPA will be responsible for keeping client entertained to his or her personal satisfaction during “Job Hours” (see below.)
Emotional Support: SPA will be responsible for providing both emotional and moral support to client, including but not limited to 1) serving as a proper “role model”* 2) amending and ameliorating any emotional distress experienced by client during “Job Hours” (see below.) SPA will also be responsible for maintaining and organizing client's social life, and for assuring client has one.
Health care: SPA will be responsible for managing all aspects of client’s health care and health care services—including maintaining proper insurance coverage—during “Job Hours” (see below.) If client suffers any permanent injuries during SPA tenure, SPA will be held fully responsible.
Job Hours: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for duration of position (see below.)
Breaks: If SPA would like a break, SPA is solely responsible for arrangements to have job duties covered during the break period by a qualified professional. It is unwise to take frequent and/or extended breaks.
Sleep: Job duties continue during the period of time normally referred to as “sleep.” Expect sleep to be become highly truncated during the period, “Job Hours,” and for up to, but in no way limited to, 18 years.
Additional contractual items:
Seniority: After 13 (on average) years of employment, your client will not reward you with actual pay, increased benefits or any other form of employee recognition. Rather, your employer will potentially grow resentful and possibly hostile toward you while still depending heavily on your professional services, and drawing more heavily on “expense account.” (See above.)
Possible Occupational Hazards: Sleep deprivation, impacted personal relationships, increased stress, possible, numerous and unpredictable physical hazards, significant impacts on personal cash reserves and possible negative impacts on mental health status, especially during first years of position, but possibly also beyond that.
Duration of Position: Until client or personal assistant becomes deceased. Any attempts to leave this position before the 18th year of service will be considered a criminal act at worst, and a total, irreparable mistake at best. After the 18th year, SPA job duties may decline somewhat, however “the position” must continue to be maintained by you. There is no “sabbatical,” paid or unpaid leave, “exit strategy,” “escape clause,” “golden (or any other colored) parachute,” or “retirement” period for this position.
Benefits: There are no significant monetary benefits, and significant negative impacts on expense account/personal monies, for the period “Job Hours” up until roughly the 25th year of the position. After that time, it is highly likely that there will continue to be no monetary benefits, and possibly significant continued and compounded expenses, for the duration of the position. (See “Duration of Position” above.)
Non-monetary Benefits can include the following, and are in no way limited to: increased wisdom, increased intuitive capacity, increased capacity for compassion and love, increased humor, increased sense of being “present.” Great joy. Deepening of one’s overall “human-hood.” Confrontation/illumination of one’s inner weaknesses and demons. Possible accelerated spiritual development. Someone to Love.
Qualifications: Remarkably—and perhaps unfortunately—there are no qualifications for this highly demanding position. Seemingly unqualified applicants often “grow” into the position and eventually excel at job duties. We strongly advise those who do not feel even remotely qualified for this position, not to apply.
Note: the application process if often highly pleasurable.
Note to potential applicants: Contrary to the seemingly insurmountable challenges of the SPA position, there is extremely high demand for this position. Applicants who do not receive the position have been known to fall into emotional despair. Some individuals invest significant monetary and other resources toward landing the position. At the same time, persons who did not even truly mean to apply for the position can land the position, seemingly by accident or mistake.
Once the position is offered, there is no way to decline the position, although one can abandon position duties. Generally speaking, THIS IS CONSIDERED A CRIMINAL ACT AND IS FULLY PUNISHABLE BY LAW. (Please refer to the laws of your own country and/or state.) Important Exception: Legal means do exist for those who feel quite unqualified for the position, or who have landed the position by utter mistake or by force. In these cases, arrangements can be made to transfer client to a qualified applicant.
A note to those who have landed the position: Congratulations, and keep up the good work!
This position is offered by: God, Life, the Universe. God, Life, the Universe is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, race, moral/ethical status, or any other consideration, whatsoever. Significant questions regarding this position may be directed to: Oneself.
*There is no specific handbook or manual provided for this duty.
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