On the Death Bed II

"Intimacy is just unconditional Love, seeing the innocence in the Other."

--Roger Clark Mills

On the Death Bed

It seems to me, now
The ushering Out of a life
Is as Sacred as the ushering In.

The entire, unfathomable Universe
Of a personality
With its splendors, flaws, tics, traits

And Deep Intelligence …

The Great Complexity!
Ignited by the One Consciousness
Was Born and now Subsides

We witness,
in these sad & playful pajama party days
The Reality of Soul
And the Love that unites us, (always united us)
And brings us together now,
Huddled
as around a sputtering candle,

Witnesses to last light
Which fades
on this night

… If only from our view.

Help Wanted!

I am sure this has been done before. Nonetheless, it was new to my mind …

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY

Special Personal Assistant (SPA)

Salary: None

Location: Your home, such as it is

(This position requires use of one’s own home, car and personal monies.)

Job Duties: As a special personal assistant (SPA), you will provide client with the following services, including, but in no way limited to:

Personal shopping (including all personal necessities such as, but not limited to: clothing, food, drink, recreational items, etc., plus unnecessary items) Expense account will be drawn from personal monies. Expense account will also cover gifts and other items for client's friends.

Housekeeping Client will be living in your home. For at least the first five years of employment, client will not significantly assist with any housekeeping. This is non-negotiable. Client will likely create disproportionate increased demand for housekeeping of all sorts: laundry, cooking, cleaning, sorting, disinfecting, and etc.

Personal caretaking, including, but not limited to: bathing, grooming, brushing teeth, trimming nails, cleaning ears (inside and behind), toileting (specifically, disposing, wiping, flushing, and proper hygienic follow up), dressing, undressing, lifting, carrying, transporting, etc.

Entertainment: SPA will be responsible for keeping client entertained to his or her personal satisfaction during “Job Hours” (see below.)

Emotional Support: SPA will be responsible for providing both emotional and moral support to client, including but not limited to 1) serving as a proper “role model”* 2) amending and ameliorating any emotional distress experienced by client during “Job Hours” (see below.) SPA will also be responsible for maintaining and organizing client's social life, and for assuring client has one.

Health care: SPA will be responsible for managing all aspects of client’s health care and health care services—including maintaining proper insurance coverage—during “Job Hours” (see below.) If client suffers any permanent injuries during SPA tenure, SPA will be held fully responsible.

Job Hours: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for duration of position (see below.)

Breaks: If SPA would like a break, SPA is solely responsible for arrangements to have job duties covered during the break period by a qualified professional. It is unwise to take frequent and/or extended breaks.

Sleep: Job duties continue during the period of time normally referred to as “sleep.” Expect sleep to be become highly truncated during the period, “Job Hours,” and for up to, but in no way limited to, 18 years.

Additional contractual items:

Seniority: After 13 (on average) years of employment, your client will not reward you with actual pay, increased benefits or any other form of employee recognition. Rather, your employer will potentially grow resentful and possibly hostile toward you while still depending heavily on your professional services, and drawing more heavily on “expense account.” (See above.)

Possible Occupational Hazards: Sleep deprivation, impacted personal relationships, increased stress, possible, numerous and unpredictable physical hazards, significant impacts on personal cash reserves and possible negative impacts on mental health status, especially during first years of position, but possibly also beyond that.

Duration of Position: Until client or personal assistant becomes deceased. Any attempts to leave this position before the 18th year of service will be considered a criminal act at worst, and a total, irreparable mistake at best. After the 18th year, SPA job duties may decline somewhat, however “the position” must continue to be maintained by you. There is no “sabbatical,” paid or unpaid leave, “exit strategy,” “escape clause,” “golden (or any other colored) parachute,” or “retirement” period for this position.

Benefits: There are no significant monetary benefits, and significant negative impacts on expense account/personal monies, for the period “Job Hours” up until roughly the 25th year of the position. After that time, it is highly likely that there will continue to be no monetary benefits, and possibly significant continued and compounded expenses, for the duration of the position. (See “Duration of Position” above.)

Non-monetary Benefits can include the following, and are in no way limited to: increased wisdom, increased intuitive capacity, increased capacity for compassion and love, increased humor, increased sense of being “present.” Great joy. Deepening of one’s overall “human-hood.” Confrontation/illumination of one’s inner weaknesses and demons. Possible accelerated spiritual development. Someone to Love.

Qualifications: Remarkably—and perhaps unfortunately—there are no qualifications for this highly demanding position. Seemingly unqualified applicants often “grow” into the position and eventually excel at job duties. We strongly advise those who do not feel even remotely qualified for this position, not to apply.

Note: the application process if often highly pleasurable.

Note to potential applicants: Contrary to the seemingly insurmountable challenges of the SPA position, there is extremely high demand for this position. Applicants who do not receive the position have been known to fall into emotional despair. Some individuals invest significant monetary and other resources toward landing the position. At the same time, persons who did not even truly mean to apply for the position can land the position, seemingly by accident or mistake.

Once the position is offered, there is no way to decline the position, although one can abandon position duties. Generally speaking, THIS IS CONSIDERED A CRIMINAL ACT AND IS FULLY PUNISHABLE BY LAW. (Please refer to the laws of your own country and/or state.) Important Exception: Legal means do exist for those who feel quite unqualified for the position, or who have landed the position by utter mistake or by force. In these cases, arrangements can be made to transfer client to a qualified applicant.

A note to those who have landed the position: Congratulations, and keep up the good work!

This position is offered by: God, Life, the Universe. God, Life, the Universe is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, race, moral/ethical status, or any other consideration, whatsoever. Significant questions regarding this position may be directed to: Oneself.

*There is no specific handbook or manual provided for this duty.

Mouths of Babes, Part II

"Let's sit down and have a talk."

--3 & 1/2 year old Tori to sister Alia, 6

(after being told they must resolve their own dispute)

Innocence & Forgiveness

We celebrate several sets of holidays around here ... the traditional American & Christian-based holidays, Jewish holidays and Chinese holidays. Every day is practically a holiday!

At Christmas-time, I talk to the children about Jesus and what I see as his essential message of Love & forgiveness. Alia (age 5) heard my little song and dance about Jesus over a light breakfast this year, and then said: "That's a good story."

There is a beautiful passage in A Course in Miracles that re-interprets the message of the crucifixion. Rather than being about the death of a son in "sacrifice" (how similar to ancient traditions of sacrificing animals, humans, etc. to God or various Gods) .... the message is rather about how one who, faced with the ultimate undeserved attack upon his body, his person, his name ... taught the message of forgiveness in the final moments before his, at least bodily, death.

How is it then, that we, when faced with slights and injuries of much less significant proportions, can so easily become enraged and vengeful? Toni Packer, in the somewhat obscure but revealing little book The Light of Discovery, describes many of our daily encounters as: "you say something that hurts the image I have of myself, and I say something back that hurts your image of yourself ..." (and she notes, "if that is all that is going on, nothing is learned.")

As a suburban Mom, I like to look at these grander themes through the lens of daily life. What does forgiveness mean with children, spouses, partners? Teachers? Relatives? Drivers on our commutes ... and other possibly troublesome folks?

How can we see the innocence in one another, "turn the other cheek" as it were? I am certainly no expert and could easily list a few people I have not quite, fully, er, forgiven. At the top of the list, probably, would be Me.

On Christmas Day, I happened to have scored with a nice gift for my husband, a set of very tall liquor glasses on thin stems--each a different shape and brilliant color. I had hoped ... and he actually liked them more than I expected he would. And then there was the moment when, in all of her excitement, our Alia reached quickly across the dining table to grab one of her presents and broke a glass--beyond repair.

My husband got angry. Why? He liked the present, actually, had already become somewhat attached. He interpreted Alia's actions as being linked to a kind of hyper-ness she sometimes gets into (a possible long term problem? ... worry, concern, are we parenting all wrong?) and spoke in stern tones to her about "moving too fast," and now look what happened, etc.

Alia burst into tears after a second or two of silent processing, and then went running to her room to ball herself up in blankets and be upset for a good while. Now it was my turn: I could get upset at my husband for over-reacting, for possibly marring our young child's Christmas Day, etc. etc. I had worked so hard to make a nice day for us all, and I saw the breaking of the glass as no big deal.

But by the Grace of God I saw instead my husband's innocence. I understood the reasons--rational or not--why he got upset (as listed above); and most importantly, I saw the seeds of all his reasons in myself. My heart went out to him (along with my daughter). I get attached to things too, I judge our daughter too, I worry about her future, too. How could I throw the first stone?

So, I let it rest. I helped Alia come back to our really quite lovely Day. My husband settled down and apologized to her. And I was relieved that I had not added more judgment and pain to the judgment and pain that had already occurred.

I say "by the Grace of God" because I am honestly not always so good at forgiveness.

I also realize that other sorts of slights are perhaps harder to forgive. Victims of physical attacks, of war and other sorts of violence ...

I am clear, however, that if we cannot learn to overcome these small, seemingly mundane incidents, the larger ones will go on and on in their endless and furious cycles.

The mysterious doors between life and death are opening around me now (in my circle of friends, in my family) ... Like the holidays, it's a time for reflection on what's important. And if Jesus was right, those things are Love & forgiveness. I think, in the end, they are really One.

As we are really One. Without Love & forgiveness our Oneness cannot be known and felt.

And our Oneness is ultimately that which is Eternal.

Do you have a story or thought on Love & forgiveness? If so, please share in "comments" ...

With Love,

Your Mystical Mama

My Work is Done?

The Parent's Tao Te Ching

Interpretation by William Martin ...

"Life can seem mundane
but it is not.
Children can seem ordinary,
and troublesome
and fragile
but they are not.

You may feel alone
and powerless
and separated

But you are not."


I rest my case.

It's Alright

It's alright to try
To try and try

As long as there is a space within You
of No Effort

It's alright to have Passion,
To burn with Fire!

As long as there is a space in your heart
that weeps with Contentment

It's alright to be angry, outraged
Inflamed!

As long as there is a space in your heart
Of total Tenderness

It's alright to make all sorts of plans,
to Dream and Envision

As long as there is a space in your heart
That lives only in
The Now

It's alright to go out on a limb
To grasp for something, just beyond reach ...

As long as there is a space in your heart
That is Welded to the Root

It's alright to be firm and direct

As long as there is a space in your heart
That Swims in Softness

It's alright

It is All alright

As long you open your heart
And take your perfectly Still Space
for a good walk around the block
Twice a day

... Understanding that
when time has played its last trick on you,
And everything you borrowed must be
Returned

The Space
The Space
The Stillness and
The Space

is all you keep.